The Pain Inflicted
by xturkeyxsexygranneh
Summary: She never knew the pain he caused him. She never knew the pain he held, and that it's because of her while he never knew the true joys of love like he deserves. MY FIRST FIC! PLEASE RATE! LJ..


**Disclaimer: The only thing i own here is the plot. No more. No less.**

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Snow was falling heavily on the Hogwarts grounds, signaling the last day before Christmas break. James Potter was gazing at the snow around him, when a girl with emerald green eyes and fiery red hair came. It was Lily Evans.

Every time he sees her, he sighs a deep breath knowing he'll never have a chance with her. Every single time he asked her out for a date, he has to gather up courage and confidence, knowing full well that her answer will always be of a negative response. But even though he knew, he still asked, just for his heart to be broken again. Is this what love feels like? Being in pain? He thought bitterly. The pain of rejection, the pain of seeing her with another man. That pain just eats me alive.

"James?"

Her voice pulled him out of his reverie and he gazed back his hazel eyes to Lily's emerald ones. For a moment, both of them seemed to forget who the other one was and just stared at each other. As saying goes, they were lost through time and space. Suddenly, some unknown force compelled him to kiss her. Maybe it was the intensity of their gazes, he doesn't know. And when his lips touched hers, a sense of happiness flowed through him. But at that touch, their "moment" was lost. Lily pulled back and decided that she should ignore the feeling she felt earlier and said what she came here for, in the first place.

"James, I need you to tutor someone in Transfiguration. Meet me back at the library at 6." Lily said, trying to put back her normal voice, deciding it would be best to ignore what almost happened.

"What the hell? We almost kissed and that's what you can say? Teach some dunderhead transfiguration after what just happened?" James spat, suddenly furious with Lily.

"Correction: what ALMOST happened. You and I both know that we're not meant to be. And that dunderhead you're talking about is Amos Diggory, Head Boy and the best of his year." Lily said covering her surprise that James Potter got angry at her. Normally, he would reserve his fury at Severus Snape, a boy in his batch trying to get him, resulting to endless pranks and rivalry between him and the Marauders. Just as she was to head back to the dorm she couldn't help but add: "He's also my boyfriend."

After that, she ran away, tears gathering in her eyes, threatening to spill down her pretty face. How could she feel something this intense when she gazed at his eyes when she already has a boyfriend? A while ago, when he brushed his oh-so-soft lips against hers, she felt completely exhilarated and would have permitted him to kiss her if her intuition didn't stop her. She was ashamed on how she could feel so strong about someone when she was committed to another person. No matter, Amos is here now. She wiped her tears as Amos neared and thought: I belong to him, not James Potter, especially not James Potter.

Outside, James Potter couldn't believe what just happened and what didn't happen. He felt sure that Lily felt the same way, that's why he did it. And when he thought about it he felt: utter disbelief at what had almost taken place, confused why she stopped the "almost-kiss" and anger for himself because he was blind that Lily has a boyfriend. He smacked his head at the oak tree numerous times. She must be feeling hurt right now! he thought. Knowing Lily, she would have blamed herself for what happened and it's all my fault.

James quickly went back inside and looked for Lily in the library. If he has to tutor somebody first to get through her and maybe earn a few minutes with her. As he neared the library, he saw Lily kissing Diggory. Then after a few moments, they stared back at each other, seeming happy and content.

Forgetting about his supposed apology, his mind went numb, his blood turned ice. He quickly went in and hid behind shelves. He slid down against the wood, as if in defeat. Right there and right now, when he saw her happy with another man, he decided that he'll stop liking her. Stop loving her. Even if he has to avoid her every single day, change his routes so he won't see her, see that long fiery hair that he craved to touch, those emerald green eyes that are his refuge, and the lips he kissed. Almost kissed. Even though he spent all this years, trying to go after her. Even though it hurts him every time he sees her with another person, he'll stop.

So he stood up and walked quietly through the door of the library, not wanting to disturb the couple. So long Lily he silently thought.

And then at that moment, Lily felt as if her heart broke into two. Her mind telling her something went wrong and she couldn't help but feel as if she let go of something or someone of great importance. Like something died. She suddenly felt unwanted ness. But how could she when she has Amos beside her?

And then, at that moment, she saw a shadow leaving the library from the corners of her eyes and the feelings were gone. But at last side of him/her, the feelings returned. And then Amos interrupted her line of thoughts, and it was the last time he thought about James Potter or that mysterious shadow, but the hurt and pained feelings still lingered.

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** I'm so sorry if the ending crushed you or something (as what my friends told me). hehe. That's why, you have to give me reviews if you want a continuation of this fic. AHHHHh! My first fic! Please review! Oh, and I just want to thank Sam, for being supportive of me and helping me. Claire and Natalie for being the first reviewers of this fic. I love you all. I'll especially love you if you review this! Thanks so much!  
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